What to Do if You Suspect Someone is Thinking About Suicide
If you notice any warning signs or if you are concerned someone you know is thinking about suicide you must start the conversation.
How to Talk to Someone at Risk of Suicide
Open the conversation by sharing specific signs you noticed.
The next question should establish if they are thinking about or planning for suicide. This can be along the lines of:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”, “Do you have a plan?”, “Do you know how you would do it?”, “When was the last time you thought about suicide?”
If the answer is yes or if you think they might be at risk of suicide you must seek help immediately.
Call a healthcare professional who has been working with the person, preferably their therapist or psychiatrist/physician if they have one. (It is a good idea to obtain this person’s contact information in advance so you have it on hand quickly if ever needed.)
Remove things like weapons and medications.
Call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Line 1-800-273-8255.
Listen, offer support and assurance, focus on being understanding, caring, and nonjudgmental. For example:
“You are not alone”, “I’m here for you”, “You are important to me, we will get through this together”, “I am concerned about you and I want you to know there is help available to get you through this.”
What NOT to Say or Do if You Suspect Someone is Thinking About Suicide
Do not promise secrecy. Instead, you can say something like, “I care about you too much to keep this kind of secret.”, “You need help, and I’m here to help you get it.”
Do not debate the value of living or argue that suicide is right or wrong.
Do not ask a question that indicates you want ‘no’ for an answer.
For example: “You’re not thinking about suicide are you?”
Do not try to single-handedly resolve the situation.
NEVER say “it’s all in your head, just snap out of it.”
Please remember a suicide threat or attempt is a medical emergency requiring professional help as soon as possible. Call 911 and get help.
Techniques that May Help De-escalate a Crisis
Keep these important techniques in mind in the event of a crisis. Remember that you are there to listen, be supportive, and get the person the help they need. Do your best to remain calm, and let them know that you are there for them and they are not being judged.
- Keep your voice calm
- Avoid overreacting
- Listen to the person
- Express support and concern
- Avoid continuous eye contact
- Ask how you can help
- Move slowly
- Offer options instead of trying to take control
- Be patient
- Avoid touching the person unless you ask permission
- Gently announce actions before initiating them
- Give them space, don’t make them feel trapped
- Don’t make judgmental comments
- Don’t argue or try to reason with the person
If you cannot de-escalate the crisis yourself you can seek additional help from mental health professionals who can assess the situation and determine the level of crisis intervention required.
